Dealing with rejection in dating
Or get a flavour of this now by clicking on this free audio session.People who never learn to question their assumptions (however emotionally clouded they were when they jumped at them) make life harder.We also fear, perhaps more than anything else, losing approval from others. In tribal times, being ejected from the safety of a group could have meant death. Fear should keep us alert and safe - like the beam from a lighthouse warning ships of submerged dangers.But too much fear, like a super-beam of light blinding the ship's captain, can cause the loss of the very thing we feared losing." Tell yourself a story (you could even write it down) of how you'll allow yourself to be upset for a while, but then begin to cope very well.Just doing this will allow you to feel less fear around the possibility of rejection.
Take Kelly; her fear was taking over her life and damaging her relationships."I was always the new kid, trying desperately to be accepted, to fit in!You don't learn to jump rope by constantly telling yourself you don't want to fall on your face.Right here and now, take a few minutes and really think about how you want to be in the future around this issue: relaxed, indifferent, self-assured?"Kelly was convinced that these early "outsider" experiences were at the root of her current problems: "I'm always looking for signs that my partner is about to reject me! I'm always seeking reassurance, always wondering what he really means."Seeking reassurance from other people is a dead end.Reassurance needs to be found from within you, not from others. Because look, word, or action from other people can be warped and wrongly interpreted as an upcoming rejection when it simply isn't.
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Kelly's terror of rejection also extended beyond her relationship.